Dreaming of a little face we have never seen,
Hearing a heartbeat of a child we have never held,
Our arms are aching to hold our new little child
And imagining the smell of him or her,
Crying tears when we are missing our little one
Excited to get the call...
Yet grieving the story that is yet to be told,
Yearning to go to the country where we have never been
We are longing to know the little blessing God has planned for our family
Lifting prayers to our Father who knows
Our hearts loving an unknown face...
Unknown to us...not to God - He already knows our child's story
One amazing part of the adoption journey is missing someone you have never met...
We are being knit together with our heavenly Fathers plan for us -
Making His plans the desires of our hearts...(I wrote this shortly after we began our 2nd adoption)
No referral tonight was what I read on the email subject line from my caseworker. Sadness filled my heart again. I sent a text saying no referral to all my friends who were praying for us knowing that tonight was the night we could get our “call”. Another month of not knowing who our child is and whether it is to be a son or a daughter. So began the wait for the next monthly uploads and scouring waiting children lists.
How can you love and long for someone you have never met?Why does waiting have to be so hard?
I thought that with this being our 2nd adoption and 6th child the wait would be easier….I mean by now I should be a pro at the whole waiting thing?
During these past couple weeks more than once I have heard this being said, “rarely is God early, but He is never late” yes, that is so true! One morning during my time with the Lord I was crying out to him about the wait, I mean this was supposed to be a fast program (if there really is such a thing with adoption!) and had been struggling with doubts that maybe this wasn’t God’s plan for our family. The Lord put on my heart to look up verses about waiting and trust.
Habakkuk 2:3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
I love these truths in the scriptures!
Nothing is wasted in this time of waiting. God uses all things for good to those who love Him. The Lord wants to bring me closer to Him and remind me again who is in control; which isn’t a bad thing at all. Maybe our child isn’t ready yet or possibly this has nothing to do with me or my family and God is using this for someone outside our family. God is in the details always even when we can’t see them. Our heavenly Father who knows all has a perfect plan all worked out and in his timing. God doesn’t not make mistakes and nothing is by random chance.
Children are a heritage from the Lord – they are gifts. We are entrusted with them as they are His, and not ours. Often we read or hear after the child is home that the wait was so worth it and its true and the trails of waiting don’t seem as big then. Another amazing thing is how many times the children really do seem to be perfect matches for the personalities or family dynamics for the families they are adopted into. Just as with our 1st adoption our son is perfect for our family. So I need to wait patiently and not rush my gift – just as I can’t force my husband to buy me a birthday present let alone long before my birthday! And trust in the One who has called us to this journey. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
May we all be encouraged during the wait and grow closer to the Lord who adopted us into His family.